Halves of a Whole
by wishIwereanime
Summary: First ever story I've written on my own. The idea for this came to me randomly, so I typed it out. Pretty sure I got rid of all the spelling mistakes. Review and tell me what you think! Kaoru POV
1. Do you swear?

**So here it is, my first ever story! I have series of poems, but I didn't actually write those. That's why this is different :)**

**Disclaimer: I only own the Host Club in my head….for now :3**

**-/*\-/*\-/*\-/*\-**

_"Just go Kaoru. You'll be fine" Hikaru mumbled, not looking up from the book he was reading._

_"Please Hikaru? Just walk with me to the library" I pleaded. I never liked to walk alone at night. It didn't feel safe._

_Hikaru sighed. "I already told you, I can't. I'm waiting for Haruhi. I swear you'll be okay." And his nose was buried in whatever it was he was reading. I think he just wanted to look smart for Haruhi._

_I sighed "Fine, see you later"_

I thought about that as the pain flashed through me. The library was only a 10 minute walk from our house. But my brother was busy, and I wasn't going to bother him anymore. Oh Hikaru, the things I did for you.

I thought I could hear sirens wailing in the distance, steadily coming closer. Didn't matter, they wouldn't make it in time anyways. I could feel my life draining from me, in slow pain filled waves. Who knew dying would hurt this much? I guessed anyone who experienced it wouldn't live to tell the tale.

The scene played through my head once more:

**-*-Flashback-*-**

_I was walking home from the library, relieved because I finished my history assignment and even got a few books I planned on reading. It seemed as though Hikaru was right, and I would make it home in one piece._

_Suddenly I was grabbed from behind and shoved against a wall. I heard spine-chilling voice in my ear._

_"Looks like we got ourselves a rich one" _

_I heard snickering coming from the shadows behind me. I could feel hands raiding my pockets, taking what they wanted and discarding what they didn't. My wallet was soon found and searched for my money. _

_One of them must have found the picture of me and Hikaru I kept in there. "Aw, how cute" He sneered. Tears came to my eyes as I heard the sound of paper being ripped in half._

_I wasn't going to just stand there and let it happen. Despite the fear that replaced the blood in my veins, I acted. Quickly I spun around, catching the guy who was holding me off guard. I got a few punches on him before I realized I had vastly underestimated how many of them there were. I was tossed to ground and beaten mercilessly before the man who seemed to be the leader pulled out a knife. _

_I knew it was over in that instant. The pain was like being submerged in Hell itself. I don't remember screaming, but I'm sure I must have considering the ambulance and police that was on the way. I remember the guy who stabbed me wiping his knife off on the back of my shirt. After they were sure I wasn't going to live, my attackers fled. _

_Through my pain-filled haze, I saw the two halves of the picture. It wasn't to far away…maybe I could reach it. Slowly, inch by inch, my arm reached out. I'm not sure how much time passed as I reached for those two scraps of paper. Hours, days, months, a year. Who knows? I just lay there curled up and holding those two halves together._

**-*-End Flashback-*-**

God granted me just enough time to see Hikaru jump from a car and rush over to me, an ambulance and two police cruisers not far behind. I briefly wondered if he had already dropped Haruhi off at home. I never knew if he reached me, because by that point I was gone.

You swore I would be okay….

You lied

**-/*\-/*\-/*\-/*\-**

**And…scene! Review and tell me what you think. Please tell me if I misspelled anything. I'm picky about that X)**

**If there's poem you would like me to edit for the host club, leave it in a review or PM me. **

**DFTBA!**

**(Don't Forget To Be Awesome)**

**-wishIwereanime**


	2. I could've saved him

Sorry for the delay in this! Long story short, I have to use a different computer and needed to find a word application that actually works for it. Also because of the whole switching computers thing and the crappy word document I'm using, I can't make something bold or use italics without making EVERYTHING like that :(  
>But no fear! I am back! :D This chapter is close to the other, just in Hikaru POV. Enjoy :3<p>DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Host Club! I do own the story though<p>

***Flashback***  
>"Just go Kaoru. You'll be fine" I mumbled, not really paying attention.<p>

"Please Hikaru? Just walk with me to the library" He pleaded. Koaru never liked to walk by himself when it was dark out. I usually went with him, but right now I was busy.

"I already told you, I can't. I'm waiting for Haruhi. I swear you'll be okay." I tried once again to focus on the book I was reading. Haruhi had suggested it, and I was sure she would want to make small talk about it on our date.

My twin sighed "Fine, see you later"

***End Flashback***

Minutes after he left, the doorbell rang. I dropped the book and rushed downstairs. When I got to the door a maid had already let Haruhi in and sat her down in one of the parlors. "Ready to go?" Haruhi gave me a calm smile and set aside the tea she had been sipping.

"Yeah" I said giving a raidant smile of my own. I grabbed her hand and out we went, deciding to go the Cultural Festival down the street.

-(A/N: I don't really like the Hika/Haru pairing and don't really want to use up this chapter on their date. So...yeah sorry to any Hika/Haru fans reading this. Should've checked the pairing before you clicked)-

I was in the back of one of our limos when I got the call.

Haruhi had just been dropped off at her 'house'. I would never say it around her, but it was REALLY tiny. Anyway...

***The Call***  
>(Ring, Ring)<p>

"Hello?"

"Yes, is this Hikaru Hitachiin?"

"Uh huh..."

"I regret to inform you that your brother Koaru Hitachiin was found between the library and Honda Apartments on Shinoko St. He has been stabbed. An Ambulance and Police are on the way- "

I went numb after 'stabbed'  
>My brother...stabbed...<p>

***End Call***

"NO!" I heard myself shout. But it was like it wasn't me. A stranger in my own body.

The driver of my limo glanced back at my in the mirror. "Sir..?"

"Get me to Shinoko Street. NOW"

And then we were off, speeding through the streets of Tokyo (A/N: I don't care if they don't live there. It's my story so they do). The driver must have heard the urgency in my voice, because he was practically pushing the gas pedal through the floor taking us through all the side streets and back roads. Soon we were within sight of the library and I could hear the sirens behind us. Sirens proving that this wasn't just a nightmare, but terrible reality.

I leapt from the limo before it had fully stopped. I could see Kaoru, see him covered in his own blood, see him looking at me with those once beautiful gold eyes, now a dull yellow.  
>I was about halfway there when I was stopped by a police officer. He was saying something that I couldn't hear past the blood rushing through my ears. I pushed him away and sprinted towards my dying brother. But by the time I reached him the light was gone from his eyes. Blown out like a candle flame in the wind.<br>At that moment I hated that policeman for stopping me. I hated my chauffer for not being fast enough. I hated Kaoru for dying and leaving me in this cold, bitter world. But most of all I hated myself for letting this happen. Kaoru had always been a bit unobservant. I would have noticed those punks who had clearly stabbed him. This was my fault.

I finally reached his side. By then it was to late, his hand cold and his expression blank. I heard the sirens and shouting, felt the tears on my cheeks, saw the blood staining his clothes. But I still couldn't believe it. Despite the evidece right in front of me I refused to accept this nightmare.

I notcied that there was something in his hands. Gently removing it from his stiff hands, I held up two scraps of paper. Looking past the blood and grime I saw that it was a picture of us taken not long ago. We had our arms on each other's shoulders, each leaning aginst the other. We wore two identical grins, though it was easy -at least for me- to tell which was which. It had been torn straight down the middle. I pocketed the fragile picture, careful not to damage it anymore than neccesary. I looked down and realized Kaoru was still giving me that blank stare that all deceased people adorn once they've left you. Proof that he wasn't coming back.

I had allowed him to die.  
>And now there was nothing left but absence.<p>

Done! Thank you to anyone who read this far. I know it's only two chapters, but it means a lot. I tried to keep this chapter about the same length as the second one. I hope it was close enough :)  
>Also thank you to MustachesMakeEverythingFunner (please tell me that's the right way to say your name). She helped me find word processors and was all around supportive. Thanks :D<p>

I usaually don't do this but... Please Review!

-wishIwereanime 


	3. My stages of grief

Next chapter! Yay! Sorry it took a while...haven't been much in the mood to write. I'm always comtemplating the next chapter of this. I already have the epilouge half written in my head XD I'm sure you don't want to read my ramblings so...Onward!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Host Club. I only wish I owned the twins...oh the things I would make them do...o.O

After Kaoru had passed on, everything went into fast forward. Things were a blur of motion and sound, all jumbled together. I know I must have been moved away from him (I refused to believe he had died), but I was also aware I had put up a fight. Screaming, yelling, punching, kicking- anything to prevent them from taking Kaoru away. Funeral arrangments were made, people payed their respects, and I grieved. The five stages of grief- denial, depression, anger, pleading, and acceptance. I soon went into the second one- depression. The denial didn't last long, and when it ended I soon wished it hadn't. Anything was better than the terrible emptiness I felt.

The other members of the Host Club stopped by, and I distinctly remembered what they said. Or didn't say.

**Flashback**  
>I was sitting on a bench in the park. My new therapist had said it was healthier for me to be outside, and the maids had enforced it happily. I was always in their way now, moping about the mansion. The house that had once been a home. I didn't realize that what made it a home was Kaoru, until he was no longer in it.<p>

The host club had wandered by, each of them with their head bowed and wearing some piece of black clothing.

Tamaki noticed me and approached first. He hestitated, as though afraid I would get up and run. I considered doing it for a few seconds.

"H-Hikaru...I'm so sorry..." But I didn't want Tamaki's pity. I stared at him blankly.

Kyouya was next. His words emotionless and factual. Like a machine.  
>"I'm sorry for your loss."<p>

Mori nodded, a look of sorrow in his eyes. He didn't say anything, but that silence spoke a thousand words.

Hunny was crying and staring at the ground. Haruhi wasn't there. I hadn't seen her since our date.  
>A single tear rolled down my cheek as they shuffled away.<br>**End Flashback**

I went to the funeral, and was slightly impressed at how well they did. Kaoru looked almost asleep. As though he just happened to wander over a lay down in that coffin. The most luxurious money could buy, I made sure of it. The roses we're all blue and orange. Our favorite colors, it was merely luck they complimented each other so well...kind of like we did.  
>I hadn't felt any emotion in so long, I was surprised I felt impressed. I held onto it as long as possible.<p>

I went through the anger portion of my grief, mad at my brother nfor leaving me so soon, but it ended sooner than the denial. I couldn't stay angry at my dead twin.  
>It was hard sometimes to look in the mirror. After all, we shared a face. It would have been so much easier if we hadn't been identical. Heck, our whole lives would have been easier. But we wouldn't have been so close...a blessing and a curse.<p>

Pleading lasted months- 4 to be exact. I begged, prayed, and almost took my own life a couple times. I knew Kaoru wouldn't like it- and wasn't it said that suicide sends you to Hell? I was positive he wasn't there. So I chickened out and found a new form of release.  
>Karate and Tai Kwon Do. I joined the club at school and got private lessons from Hunny. He said I was getting good, almost as good as him. I didn't care though. I just needed to let go of all of my emotions in a mostly safe way. I even kept a journal for a few weeks.<p>

Eventually I didn't need a therapist. I was slowly but steadily getting better.

I think it surprised all of us.

(...)  
>Almost done! :D Now is just the epilouge...I don't think I'll write another chapter. I always intended for this to be short, and I have no ideas for what I would write.<br>I think the whole one-twin-dies-and-the-other-commits-suicide thing is overused. I wanted a happy ending. Or as happy as they get in angst stories. You know the drill: Tell me about any spelling/grammar errors and review :3

-wishIwereanime 


	4. Epilouge: Eternity

Epilouge! It might be kinda weird, but I like it :)  
>The epilouge has been swirling around in my mind for a while, so I finally typed it out. Enjoy!<br>Oh yeah- I found a much better text application! Yay! :D

Disclaimer: I own nothing! I used some things from a book called D.G. Dopple Gangers and Butterfly Kisses by Bob Carlisle. Nor do I own the quote

-  
>So much time had passed since that day...the day yet another life was taken. Like the wind the years went by. Life went on, people grew old, seasons changed, and babies were born. The circle of life never once paused.<br>Hikaru got older and eventually moved past his depression. But he still carried the weight of it with him, never once forgetting his other half.

But sometimes- when then wind blew just right or the sun shone bright- he swore Kaoru was still there. His laughter was on the wind and his tears in the rain.

Hikaru found a wife, some one who could sympathize with him. Her sister had been in a car crash a few years ago. They bonded and fell in love. It was nothing like how he felt for Haruhi (Who, by the way, married Tamaki). This was..pure somehow.  
>They grew old together, and had plenty of grandchildren. Two were identical twin girls- Shizuki and Shuniki. Both had their granfather's blazing red hair and mischevious personalities. Hikaru loved and watched over the two, knowing full well the reality they would have to face.<p>

One quiet day in May, Hikaru passed on silently in his sleep. He had always kept his devishly child-like attitude.

His spirit rose from the body that had treated him so well through all the years. He looked just as he had the day Kaoru was attacked- the day his happiness was robbed of him and life changed drastically.

Hikaru looked around and immediately noticed something. Something...amazing. There stood his twin, slightly hazy and shimmering he leaned against the wall. Wearing a full-blown grin and just staring at him.  
>For a little while that's all the two did.<p>

"K- Kaoru...?" Hikaru whispered, his voice sounding strangely musical.

"Who else?" Kaoru pushed off against the wall and moved over to him, wrapping Hikaru in a hug that was nothing but warmth.

"Am I dead?" Hikaru asked, still trying to take it all in.

"Yes...and fortunately your transition t this world was much smoother than mine." Kaoru said, his face suddenly becoming grim.

Hikaru gave him a hug of his own, both of their emotions so easy to read in the land of spirits.

"You know, I was with you the whole time. Always right beside you...protecting you..." Kaoru said staring at him intensely.

"I know" Hikaru said

"C'mon, it's time for us to pass on. I never did...I chose to wait for you..." Kaoru mumbled, his eyes downcast.

"Lead the way" His brother gave a soft smile

But no leading was necessary. Like two puppets connected by an invisible string, they began their eternal dnace up to the heavans. Their souls playing and moving around each other.  
>Each predicting and going off of the others next moves. It felt like forever had passed, but also no time at all. The two were in a timeless place now.<p>

This was their heaven.

"As if our hands, our sides, voices and minds,  
>Had been incorporate. So we grow together,<br>Like to a double cherry, seeming parted,  
>But yet a union in partition;<br>Two lovely berries moulded on one stem;  
>So, with two seeming bodies, but one heart;<br>Two of the first, like coats in heraldry,  
>Due but to one and crowned with one crest."<p>

-(*)-(*)-(*)-(*)-

Not much of an epilouge, but I hope you liked it! :D

Review? Please..? Nobody reviewed the last chapter...I think

-wishIwereanime 


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